I received a letter today addressed to 'The Parents of Jason Curtis' which is just a fancy way of saying 'Solicitation'. Now, I am all about the free economy and the rights of people to start whatever business they'd like. I am not, however, a supporter of the selling of student contact information to companies trying to make some money off of the process of getting a degree. But what happened today is much worse. The organization behind this venture is the university itself. You with me? NC State is now in the business of selling gift baskets for its stressed students. You know what would lower my stress level, dearest NCSU? How about adequate heating and cooling systems in Caldwell G107? How about leveling some of the bricks out? How about a different type of building material?
How about this, public university? How about accepting your role as an education provider and nurturer and not as a sly business person trying to squeeze as much money out of myself anf my family as possible? How about investing in programs that exhibit a respnsibility toward creating as opposed to shameless selling?
The letter I received today had some hilarious one-liners in it. Some of my favorites:
- not even a line, but a format choice, this is in memo format to parents. The subject line is "Send your student a Final Exam CARE Package." This implies that CARE is an acronym for something. It is not.
- Were aiming for 100% parent participation this semester! - That's awfully insensitive to the handful of NC State students that lost a parent this year, isn't it? "We are sorry to report that we acheived only 99% participation this year because Sally's mother passed away in a tragic car accident. Thanks A LOT Sally.
- The Stress Buster is a great way to provide quick and fun study breaks to tame exam-time tension. It includes a variety of stress busting toys such as Play Doh, Bubbles, Inflatable Beach Ball and a Rainbow Slinky which come in a reusable plastic pail with a lid and handle. -- this is wrong on so many levels. First, a message to parents, if your kid really would appreciate this, the call the rehab center, because your son or daughter is on ecstasy. Second, to whoever wrote this sentence, while Play Doh is a proper name and therefore should be capitalized, "Bubbles" and "Inflatable Beach Ball" are simple nouns, and can be left alone. That is, unless you don't CARE.
The whole point of posting is that, somewhere along the way, college has been turned into a really expensive version of high school. The only real accomplishment is getting out of there, as a new friend said to me recently, with the "ability to carry on a good conversation". Beyond that, for most, it is nothing more than a series of hurdles. You will learn more by doing than by academically analyzing.*
Other Bullshit
Diploma Frames? It's called a custom frame shop. Use them, they are your friend.
Class rings. What am I, the Pimp of Academia? If I wanted to wear a pinky ring, I would not want it to be set with a ruby.
Attendance Mandates? Its just an excuse for the professor to be able to mess with the syllabus. If the work was laid out, and I was able to complete the work, then I should be awarded the same grade as someone who was in every class but remained, somehow, stupid through the semester.
That's all, just take me off your mailing list. And when I'm gone, label me as gone.
*This is not true for doctors, pilots, skydivers or women.
