I just read THIS article about a 5 year-old who is being charged with sexual harassment for pinching the buttocks of a female student. The article also mentions a 4 year-old in Texas who was suspended for "inappropriately touching" a teacher's aide.
Now, I don't want to get too crazy in responding to everything that is wrong with this (both in Texas and Maryland), but someone needs to step forward and fight for the normal sexual maturation of our children.
I grew up in the 1980s, and feel that I may have barely escaped my childhood with a healthy and responsible attitude toward sex. There are a few stories that come to mind:
1. We had a trampoline in our basement. Not one of those gargantuan deathtraps that Wal-mart likes to sell, but a simple exercise version that just screamed 1985. It was in our basement, and on one occasion I took it as an opportunity to show two young girls how funny my penis looked when it was bouncing up and down. In some ways, I still find that hilarious (but I have no place to put a trampoline). I was six and my punishment consisted of being put in time-out in the bathroom. The parents of the girls were there, and I think the move was more to satiate their need to protect their daughters and not really to punish me at all. I ripped the toilet paper holder out of the wall and my parents laughed about it.
2. I had a crush on my preschool teacher, and through family stories, I now know that my first recognized "move" was to pretend to not know how to put my pants on after using the restroom. Ms. Jones and I never dated, but I think that is because of age and not effort. I was not suspended, and I highly doubt that there was any sexual intentions on my behalf at the time.
3. In first grade I "dated" a girl named Tracy. This meant that I would go to her tree house and she came to my birthday party. it was an awesome relationship, and I vaguely remember how it felt to kiss her during recess. Rosa was also in my class, and sometimes we would show each other our junk. It was cute.
So, in lieu of stories like the one above, I please to the conservative side of this country to take a minute and think about the implications of sexualizing what is, at its base, simple child's play. These kids aren't out to harm anyone, and the more they are made to feel bad about touching each other and playing, the more they are going to touch each other and become "players".
Blanket policies save school systems in administrative costs, but in the long run serve to do nothing more than to create schools filled with kids too ashamed to talk about sex. Because of this, they don't know how to express themselves when they are faced with a moment that makes them feel uncomfortable. They feel bad about sex and because of this, they don't feel comfortable enough to wait until they are ready.
So, stop scaring kids. That's my point. The article goes on to quote a school administrator who refers to the sexual harassment charge as a "learning opportunity" for this child. The admin is right, this is a learning opportunity: for the adults. Stop being scared to help children live their lives. Stop thinking them as weak and in need of control. Focus on the true bad apples.
We need to be healthier.
